December 2010 - March 2014

Jehki and I have broken up.

This is not day-fresh - or even week-fresh - news, but I've struggled for quite a bit about putting it on here and letting the whole world know. It's been almost a month now and I think initially, a part of me still imagined us getting back together. Writing about it on my blog would make that impossible and make it final. But that's what it is now, final.

Only a handful of people knew about this and most of them were devastated because as much as I find it hard to fathom, people 'shipped' us. From the messages I've received, I know many of you do as well, and it probably has a lot to do with why you read my blog in the first place. So I guess that's why I feel the need to let you in on this part of my life, even though talking about it is the last thing I want to do.

Jehki and I have been through a lot for the past three years, from our friendship, to our long-distance relationship, to Holly, to my health, to his business, to my insecurities, to his grandma's passing. Before your mind wanders, I just want to clarify that neither of us did anything wrong, neither of us cheated. It wasn't the distance taking a toll on us, and it definitely wasn't because we stopped loving each other. Although I can't completely reveal why we are breaking up, I don't want anyone to think that we had anything but a mutual and amiable break up.

It's heartwrenching when you have to let go of someone you've shaped your life around, but this was a decision we came to together. To give a very political and annoying (but still accurate) reason: We broke up because we wanted different things in life. Rather than staying in this relationship purely out of love, we thought it would be better to free ourselves and be with other people who might want the same things. Ultimately, we are at a point in life where we date to marry and the thing we disagree on impedes on marriage directly, so splitting up was the right thing to do.

Right now, Jehki and I are just trying very hard to move on. We've stopped speaking since the break up but it's not permanent. We were best friends before anything romantic, and like we promised each other 3 years ago, we will always be best friends at the end of the day. We agreed to see other people in the meantime and that's what we are both doing. When we're ready, we'll go back to bantering like old buds again.

I know I'll be writing another blogpost about this when I can wrap my head around this reality. But for now, I just wanted to get the news out there. I haven't been able to tell most of my friends about this break up, so I'm also hoping they read my blog regularly enough to see this.

And if you're wondering, I am okay xx