Back, and better.

 

I had a good long hiatus from the world; a month of absolutely nothing. But it was really good. I'm gonna let my blog resume its normal, non-depressing state, because I don't need it to level out the demons in my head anymore. I have someone who is willing to take on all the bad in the world for me ^^

In this month, I have been pushing people away. Anyone who tries to help me or show a little concern for me, I push them away. I tell them I am fine, I move on, and I assume they'd move on too. So slowly, everyone let me be. They pop in once in a while to ask me how I'm doing, but they don't pry. Everybody, except Wpb. Everytime I distant myself from him, he forces his way back. I was so angry at first...I picked fights with him, I shouted at him, I refused to pick up his calls, but he just kept coming back. I really thought all I needed was some alone time, but I guess he knew better. So I gave in; started talking to him, spent whole days and 2 semi-nights at his house, and called him whenever I felt uneasy (which is 24/7). He was/is my therapy.

And for almost all the times we were at his place, we sat on the ground facing each other and just, talked. He always had my hands in his and I felt like I could talk to him about anything under the stars. I let him in on my dreams, my fears, my expectations; all matters of the heart. And from time to time, he would kiss the back of my hand as if to comfort me. For weeks, he gave me his ears, a shoulder to cry on, and all the time in the world (':

My first voluntary, on-time sleep in a long while, was with him too. I napped, curled up against him and laid my head on his shoulder, with something fuzzy playing on the Tv. The image I fell asleep to, was our hands on his lap, and that image fought off all nightmares.

There was once we were walking towards the bus-stop when I asked him for the time, and he put his left arm around my shoulder to show me his watch. Crazy silly, because it was so close to my face, I couldn't even read the time. But we laughed and continued walking anyway. Only, and only because it felt like the best thing in the whole wide world. Who even cares about the time right?

"There is a light that never goes out. I will be that light in your life."

Suddenly, I'm so filled with love for him and I can't even explain why. He makes up 90% of my happiest moments since everything <3

P/s: Formspring questions have been answered and published (below). Thank you for the very kind messages :'D I had to delete some because they revealed too much info, but still, thank you! I've read all of them. For the more unkind ones, BOOYA. You can read what I replied to your puny opinion.