Reality.

Everyone who asked me about my attachment would know that I truly love the place I'm in and the people I work with. I enjoy every minute of work, but yesterday was the rock bottom of a sewage. I was picked on and shouted at (infront of everyone else). I was humiliated and it felt like I had lost all my dignity in a split second.

If you know me, you'd know that I hardly let myself feel wronged or have the chance to nurse any grievances (unless it's my family). I am the you-offend-me-and-I-will-burn-your-house-down kinda person. I don't give face to people, not even my own friends (still trying to work on that, but for now, that's who I am). And if anybody else in any other circumstances were to pick on me, I would have retaliated unkindly. But I couldn't do it to this particular person, because I couldn't let it affect my grades or the rest of my stay in that place. So I had to be humble, apologize, and follow her instructions.

I don't think many people can understand the damage it does to my pride. I am not playing up my emotions. I really felt like crying because my natural instinct is to scream at the person to get the fuck out of my face, but instead, I had to take it all in as if she were ruling me and abide abide abide. I am not like some rebellious delinquent, but I just cannot accept someone delibrately finding fault with just me. I only told 3 people about this matter (Fenny, Evan, Tsw), so I don't think I'm gonna repeat it here lest someone uses it against me.

I know this is probably what I'd face in the future as a working adult, but understand that my miserable words come from a student. I am not a working adult yet, so I shouldn't be expected to deal with this like one.