5 things I can gloat about in J's face.

1. J's little cousins will hug me before him.
2. I always win him in a staring competition.
3. He can never spell 'hippopotamus'.
4. When Oden (his dog) sleeps with us, he will lay his head against mine and his ass will be in J's face.

5. I'm luckier than him, because I have him.