Unseen, but never lost.

 

If you don't already know, J was offered a rare opportunity to study Fashion Design and Fashion Communication in one of London's most prestigious Art Schools and will be flying over in August.

I have had my reservations about this arrangement and our relationship, because I know it will be difficult and we will be missing out on so much without each other.
I won't be able to sing and dance with him.
I won't be able to twist his fingers into weird shapes.
I won't be able to play hide and seek in his house with his cousins.
I won't be able to sit in the shop with him and watch him sketch and sew.
I won't be able to tag along when he has photoshoots and play with the models' make-up.
I won't be able to lie on his lap while we listen to the mixed CD he gave me last Christmas.

When anybody at Haji Lane asks about him this time, I'll have to explain that he has gone abroad to study for 4 years, instead of just saying he went out to get lunch, like I always do. And need I mention how much I will miss him? 

When J told me about it, he gave me the option of walking away right now instead of feeling obliged to stay with him throughout the 4 years where he won't be here. Mid-way, both of us started crying and the whole studying-abroad discussion became a tearful mess. I felt so heartbroken and that's when I knew...No matter how difficult it will be, I will make it work; we will make it work.


There is no question, no doubt, anymore. This is the boy I care so much about, the boy who went through thick and thin with me for 6 years, the boy who understands me better than anybody else. This is the boy whom I love with all my heart, and who in turn, loves me back with all his heart.

When he is back after 4 years, we will have so much to forward to. For now, we will continue our nonsensical habits of webcamming 24/7, reading out snippets from books and magazines to each other, and calling each other in the middle of the night to sing and rap. This is a test of time, a test of faith, and we will make it.

Babe, anytime you feel like you are losing your grip on this relationship, come back here and read this entry again. This is my promise to you, with the world as witness.