Hawtvintage.

A relationship is not an affair that begins and ends within a month. That's playtime. A relationship is an investment of time, effort, sacrifice, and sometimes something more than your heart can offer.

It is difficult to start a relationship.
From validating your own feelings, to deciding what you want to do with them, to making the first move.


It is difficult to maintain a relationship.
In every r/s, there will be suspicions, disputes and someone else. It's very hard to look past all of that, but you have to in order to keep moving on. Understanding, sensitive, trust; basically the qualities of a saint. After 5 official relationships (?), I still can't do it.

It is difficult to let go of a relationship.
Need I say more?

Right now, I'm stuck in the last two stages. Maintaining what I have with tsw, and letting go of what I had with Sbester. I know how it sounds, but I'm not a two-timing bitch. Bitch, definitely. Two-time, definitely not.

People talk, people assume, people judge. I'm alright with that, because it's natural. But ...2 years is a long time, and Singapore is a small place. Somehow somewhere, what I see, what I smell, what I touch, what I hear, will remind me of him and I will miss him alot alot alot. Sometimes to the extent of tears and regret. Give me time to adjust. Not to forget, just to regulate my thoughts.

As for tsw, he has made our r/s very very easy to be in. It's almost effortless. Just that sometimes I have to remember I need to do something for him too.
We are strange people. You know how all couples have this honeymoon period, usually in the first month of the r/s? You flutter and get all tipsy-turny when he holds your hand, your heart skips a beat when he claims to love you, you cannot stop telling him you miss him, etc. Tsw and I never had that. Not since Day 1. We alr had our first quarrel in the second week. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing. And we don't keep track of monthsaries. He thinks celebrating every month is redundant and personally, I find it difficult to keep track. All I know is we started somewhere in June or July this year. Haha.

I always hear people say they want to stay single because being attached again after a r/s is so tiring. How can it be? Every r/s is different. The game changes as the players change. None of my past r/s(s) ever turn out to be the same, or even the least bit similar. If you feel otherwise, I guess you really need to backtrack and find out what went wrong.

Tsw started off as a rebound guy for Sbester, and he knew it. Don't ask me, I guess there are all kinds of stupid in this world. But anyway, he's slowly making his way into my heart.

Don't know what I need to do.

P/s: On the phone w/ Sbester and he fell asleep again. Hahahahaha.