Need to pen (type) this down before I forget.

Minutes ago, I saw on facebook that a good friend was back together with her ex again and they seemed more in love than ever. I felt so angry for a split second. This guy dumped her, put her down, and cheated on her. I'm not talking about kiss-on-the-lips or out-on-a-date kinda cheat. He was fucking another girl.

 I wasn't angry at the guy, fyi, because he means nothing to me. I was mad at my friend for choosing to go through all the crap again. But I realized...I can't really blame her because it's a safe zone for her. Being with someone for 2 years has closed her heart towards anybody else. She has gotten used to his habits, his way of expression, and his everything. Going back to him means not needing to adapt to someone else' dating ritual, to remember someone else' favourite food and to change herself to be better for someone else. 

So I got angry with myself. I didn't have the right to judge her because I have reconciled with someone far worse before. Everytime he hurt me, I just went back, practically asking for more, until one incident broke me so bad that I finally told myself to step out of this vicious cycle. I promised to start to love myself the way I deserved to be loved.

It was the best fucking decision I have ever made for myself.

I guess now, we just have to wait and see. If her boyfriend stays true, I'll be happy for her. But if the same shit happens again, I'll just have to stand by her. When it comes to matters of the heart, we need to learn the hard way.