Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Cannot believe three months have passed and I'll be on the plane back to Canters tonight. I think it's no surprise that I want to stay at home longer - maybe for forever. Haha. It's just so difficult being away from home. You really wouldn't know how it feels, unless you've been there.

It's difficult because I have to get used to living away from familiarity.

It's difficult because I have to watch everyone create memories without me.

It's difficult because I don't know if my dog understands I am not leaving her because I don't love her anymore.

It's difficult because I sometimes forget why I am all the way across the world, I forget what I am fighting for.

It's difficult because whenever I just want to be close to someone I love, I can only do it through the computer screen.

Missing home spurs really complex feelings in me - there's sadness, longing, regrets, and fear. It's basically a concoction of all the bad feelings in the world. I just haven't found the antidote for it.

I really need to stop being so low. I have been given a wonderful opportunity, a shot at fulfilling my dreams, and I need to hold on to that. A lot of people would kill to be where I'm at now. When I am finally done at Uni, I want to be able to come home proud. I want to be a step closer to who I want to become.

Thank you, all my friends who made time for me this summer. I really appreciate it and I love you guys. Please skype/text me whenever. I can't be there physically, but you have to fill me in on all the fun :) xx


// Jehki just texted me, "Don't be upset for long, monkey. I know this is hard for you but please try not to break up with me this time. I will track you down. Love you and I'll see you back in UK." Hahaha. This boy's like the rainbow after the rain.