Hawtvintage.

I can't concentrate on my work. I feel like crying and crying and crying.

1.Health

I am so frustrated with everything that is going on with my body. I have a sore throat that began 2 weeks ago and a vagina that wouldn't stop bleeding and expelling foreign matter. I really appreciate people walking up to me and asking if I'm okay and telling me to take care. The notes and letters and well-wishes are very sweet. I respond with a, "I'm okay", and sometimes maybe a little joke. But ultimately, I am not okay. I just don't want to be that whiny girl who can't handle problems.

Truth is,
I hate standing up everytime and looking down to see blood trickling down my thighs.
I hate sitting on the toilet bowl and having blood clots coming out of my vagina instead of pee.
I hate having to drink chicken essence because it tastes like oil.
I hate waking up every morning to a burning throat.
I hate taking medication that does nothing to help me.
I hate looking into the mirror to see my rosy cheeks replaced with pale lips.
I hate having my mother walk in to my room everyday to tell me what I've done to destroy my health.

I know I have to sleep earlier, and eat healthier. And I promise I will try.

2. Studies

I am so unmotivated to study this semester. I still work the hardest and keep trying to do my best, but it seems to take so much more out of me. I need to sit down one day, and think carefully about what I want to do in life. This. Is. Going. Nowhere.

3. People

I don't know if it's just me, but everyone around me seems to be struggling. They always appear upset and uninspired. I wish this would stop. I wish all of you would be happy all the time, but I think this entry just brought your mood down a notch. Haha. To make it up, here are some pictures that made me feel better for a while. I hope they make you smile for a little longer.













 







 

























(via happythings, poeticheartache)