Hawtvintage.

A, I think I actually teared a little when you called me to tell me you found someone you really love. Two reasons. #01, you value me enough to call me right away to tell me this news. #02, you finally got the share of happiness you deserve and I think E is a really really great guy. Can you believe it has been four years since you came out to me? We were both scared and confused, afraid to make mistakes, too cowardly to do something about your choice of lifestyle. You went through alot of crap to finally meet E and I am glad to have been with you every step of the way. Now, you are right where you belong and I feel I can leave you in E's hands. But if ever, he doesn't treat you the way you deserve, I am right here. Things are going to change now that you are moving to a whole new country, but I love you alright, my adorably homo bestfriend. I will miss your idiotic threatens to steal my future husband and turn him gay. I will miss your neurotic r/s advices. I will miss your genuine concern and crying for my misfortune. I will miss you. Promise you'll call?

And to another guy in my life, you might think I have moved on with my life, forgetting you from time to time, but actually, I sometimes check up on you. I browse through your Facebook, I check if you've updated your blog, and I search your email address on MSN just to see if you're online and if you are, what your msn nick is and which girl you are currently acknowledging. And so so many times, I wish I hadn't done those things. I wish I had just left you alone. Because I see a girl leave a flirty, playful message on your fb wall, I read the same ol' blog entries and suddenly ask myself, "What do I expect to see here?". I see your msn nick flashing 'Offline' with a nick that is unchanged, left for another girl whom I know about. I probably shouldn't be doing those things because it's so unhealthy, but I have to. I just needed to see how you are doing without having to ask you directly, to know who you are with without prying. At first I thought I was jealous because of the uncomfortable emotions that arise when I see 'her' appearing so often in your life. Then I realized, it's not that you have someone, it's who you are with. She's a little minx who cannot make up her mind most of the time. She goes fuckity fuck fuck just because an incy wincy bit of her life is not going as planned. She is a childish, self-absorbed, and pointless brat. Everything she is concerned about is just so...trivial. I'm sorry to put her down like this without getting to know her first but she's just the kind of girl you don't have to know in order to know. I really cannot understand her charm to you. Please show me that you are worthy of somebody that matters, show me that you've grown up, that you've matured to make the right choices. And if that right girl doesn't show up, so what? Wait and see. When she does appear, you will see that it is all worthwhile. For now, take care of your health and your heart. You know you take the love matters too seriously.

Now, for my one and only, everyday is like Thanksgiving because for the past few weeks, I have been really thankful. Thankful for your understanding, thankful for your patience, and thankful for your presence. Almost everybody is saying we've made a mistake. The doubts go on and on, until they latch onto me, and I hesitate too. You are the only person who has stood his ground, unwavered and confident. You really made me wonder where your conviction came from. I kept asking you, "How do you know?" "How can you be so sure?". And you tell me, "I just know". You remind me again of all the parts of you I fell in love with. I want 10, 20, 50 more years of cookie faces, holding hands while driving, singing vocally-impossible songs, eating disgusting japanese food, smearing i-scream on brown rice, window-shopping for furniture, late night skyping, reedonkulously written letters, lunching with your big big family, letting you teach me how to sweep the floor the right way, and just...just being with you. Here are 3 overused words: wo love ni.